Monday, January 30, 2012


"I’m Taking A Sad Day"

Jan. 27, 2012

Every day this week, I’ve smiled. I’ve picked up on the first ring, I’ve answered your lengthy emails, I’ve even laughed at your lousy (if not completely nonsensical) jokes but today, today is mine. I’m calling in sad. Taking a sad day.

Today, I’m going to beeline past all of you without saying hello, without removing my sunglasses, yes I’m aware it’s raining outside, ask me if it makes a difference. I won’t be slamming my office door. I want to, but the last thing I need is all of you gossiping about me in the company kitchen, like I don’t know what’s up. I’m more than aware of what we collectively think about door slammers. I don’t need that strike against me, not today. Fair warning: I may slam the phone down into the receiver after every phone call, if I manage to answer those. I’m only human. You understand.

You should probably avoid asking me any long-winded questions; anything that requires more than a one-word answer is probably too ambitious. Don’t ask me to paraphrase yesterday’s meeting, for example. Don’t ask me for my favorite lamb recipe. Don’t ask me who I’m rooting for on American Idol. It’s way too early in the season for that, idiot. What is wrong with you? Don’t ask me what is wrong with me. Don’t ask me why I’m sad. Those two are important; write those down.

You look like you still have questions. Let me help you out: I’m broke. I didn’t sleep last night. Everyone forgot my birthday. My best friend isn’t speaking to me. I’m not wearing any makeup. I just broke up with someone. The weather is bumming me out. I’m PMSing. I was out drinking until three hours ago. Someone died. I hate this job. I hate you. Pick three of those and abstain from asking me why I look like this.

Please don’t stand bashfully in my doorway and do that gentle side-knock that says, “Hey, you. You look sad, but I’m your work buddy and I just want you to know that I’m here for you in your time of need. Did you know I’m a great hugger? I’m a great hugger. The best, in fact. I hope you’re all right, I hate to see someone as miserable as you acting even more miserable than I previously knew to be possible. Also, I know this is a really, really bad time, but please don’t forget to sign my check before you leave. It’s Friday.” Just leave the goddamn check on my desk and GTFO.

I will order the worst of all the lunches. I will order the undercooked meatloaf with the hardened mashed potatoes; I will drink a milkshake, a spiked milkshake; I will eat some of your French fries without asking permission, especially if they’re smothered in gravy and mozzarella and bacon and barbecue sauce and all of that other completely unappetizing nonsense self-loathing people drown their French fries in, I will eat all of those hatred fries. With my hands. No green vegetables.

Today, I will listen to “The Funeral” on repeat. Loudly. I will play songs so depressing that you will become sad by proxy. You will weep in your cubicle and incite an argument with your boyfriend via IM, and though this war was a long time coming I’ll know I played the catalyst and momentarily, I’ll feel vindicated. Misery really does love company. Drinks after work?

Friends With Kids

Friends With Kids is a romantic dramedy for the new generation! In her directorial debut, Westfeldt inspires with her subtle wit and sharply observed understanding of humanity. The film isn't afraid to delve deep into the workings of everyday people, and shares with us a humorous and insightful perspective into the change in dynamic of today's relationships. Bold, charming, and funny, Friends With Kids reminds us that in romcoms, the women don't need to be ditzy, and the men don't need to be chauvinistic.

Friends With Kids is a daring and poignant ensemble comedy about a close-knit circle of friends at that moment in life when children arrive and everything changes. The last two singles in the group observe the effect that kids have had on their friends' relationships and wonder if there's a better way. They decide to have a kid together - and date other people.

Detroit Rock City

Detroit Rock City is an ode to all KISS and ROCK fans of the 90's. With its simple plot and surreal events, DRC feels like an inside joke. A lack of interest in rock and roll can make you feel excluded in this small-time comedy about 4 kids who would go to any length to see their idols.

Are you ready for the hottest band in the land? It's 1978 in Detroit, and pretty much any teenager who isn't a total wimp is totally stoked for the upcoming Kiss concert (as anyone who ever listened to Kiss Alive! knows, Detroit has always loved this band). But four proud members of the Kiss Army find themselves without tickets to the show, and one has to deal with a mother who is convinced that Kiss and their music are evil incarnate. Will they be able to foil scalpers, security, and paranoid parents to witness the fire-spitting, blood-puking, hard rock frenzy that is Kiss on stage?

The Three Musketeers (2011 Reboot)

Having grown-up with the 1993 version of the Three Musketeers, as well as the self-proclaimed Three Musketeers (the 3 older Pamandanan kids), I have to say that this reboot sorely lacked the chemistry and wit that surrounded Athos, Porthos, and Aramis (Sutherland, Platt, and Sheen). This was mind-numbing in its lack of creativity but I guess it could become a good gate-way to entice children to learn more about Dumas' classics.

The hot-headed young D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) joins forces with three rogue Musketeers (Matthew MacFadyen, Luke Evans and Ray Stevenson) in this reboot of Alexandre Dumas' story. They must stop the evil Richlieu (Christoph Waltz) and face off with Buckingham (Orlando Bloom) and the treacherous Milady (Milla Jovovich). The action adventure is given a state of the art update in 3-D.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Para Po

BY Fifi

Ang paghahanap ng pag-ibig ay parang pag-para ng taxi.
Sa una, pipili ka muna ng gusto mo, MGE, Nine Star,
kahit ano basta malinis, may aircon at 'di mukhang luma.

May mga tititgil at mag-ooffer pero choosy ka pa, ayaw mo.
Palalampasin mo sila kasi umaasa kang may darating na mas okay.
Minsan papara ka ng gusto mo pero ayaw ka naman isakay,
dadaanan ka lang tapos sesenyasan ka na may pupuntahan na siyang iba,
taken na pala, next time na lang.

Yung iba naman titigil pero hindi ka rin isasakay, sobrang paasa.
Pag sinabi mo na ang pupuntahan mo, aayaw na.
Malayo daw, hassle sa kanya.
Takot sa commitment yung mga yun, pakawalan mo na.

May mga pagkakataon din na maaagawan ka ng ibang tao.
Bad trip yun sobra. Tagal mong naghihintay eh tas aagawan ka lang.
Maiinis ka pero kailangan mag move on kaya papara ka ulit.

Minsan sa pagka-desperada mong sumakay, papara ka
kahit alam mong may sakay na. Kahit alam mong imposibleng isakay ka
sige lang, malay mo tumigil at piliin ka di ba?
Pinalaki kasi tayo na ipaglaban ang gusto natin, minsan kahit mali na.

Pero minsan din kahit gaano ka na katagal naghihintay,
kahit ilang beses ka ng naagawan, pinaasa, at dinedma,
may darating din na taxi na para sa'yo.

'Yun dadalhin ka kung saan mo gustong pumunta.
'Yun pag nakita ka na, titigil na siya, di mo na kailangan parahin pa.
'Yun pagkasakay mo mapapa-isip ka na buti na buti na lang naghintay ka.

Ingat kayo sa byahe.

Reposted from Criela.

Translated version behind the cut.

Thursday, January 26, 2012


So therefore I dedicate myself to myself, to my art, my sleep, my dreams, my labors, my suffrances, my loneliness, my unique madness, my endless absorption and hunger - because I cannot dedicate myself to any fellow being.

- Jack Kerouac.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Don't Say

Don't say you didn't have a say in the matter. Don't say this wasn't your choice. You could've done something about it, could've prevented it, could've remedied it after the damage was done. You chose not to. You chose to watch as what you wanted festered before your very eyes. You chose to let it kill with cancer; slow, painful, almost impossible to heal. Don't say it was circumstance. Don't say you thought I would have understood. I did. You made it perfectly clear. You understand, don't you? You know me. Know my ways. Familiar with my patterns. If I had to understand you, then you had to understand me back. That's how it works, isn't it? Yes.

Don't say that the telephone works both ways. I'm aware. I called you, remember? Repeatedly. I called you until my ear was warm from all the unanswered calls. I called you until my ear was numb from all the waiting I had to do. I called you until my ears bled from all the words you said, all the promises you never kept. I called you until I realized that it wasn't even about who was calling, it was about who wasn't answering. So don't say the telephone works both ways.

Don't say that I was distant, cold, aloof, emotionless, hard, numb, heartless. You know me better than that. I come off that way, but you know I care. It's become such a good excuse for you, huh? It's become the justification to every wrongdoing you've done. It's so easy to blame the one who isn't as warm, inviting, soft to the touch. It's easy to blame the wounds on the prickly one -- because that's what thorns are known to do, right? We tear at the skin, bleed you dry, and then leave forth a scab. A scar. Something to remind you that we caused pain. A lingering sense of danger. However, I want you to think back, and do so properly, and try to remember if any argument started because of me. It was always on you. You, you, you. Perfect, warm, inviting, you. How deceitful you are. You almost had me fooled. Luckily, I was smart away to stop when I did.

Don't say that I never tried and you only got tired. My trying was your saving grace and I couldn't pull you out of the exhaustion.

But if you can only move forward by putting the blame on me, because I've moved on or whatever insipid reason, then by all means, do so. Move forward.

You're a victim of your own design, your own making.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Take Me Home Tonight

I guess I'm just too much of a Topher Grace fan and '80s fan to find this film unremarkable. Sure, there is nothing new to offer here but cookie-cutter nostalgia for the '80s group, but the charm of the characters, music, and decade does not wear thin. It is still as happy, campy, and surreal as it used to be. I know many would disagree with me here, but I think they would've made John Hughes proud!

Take Me Home Tonight is a raunchy, romantic and ultimately touching blast from the past set to an awesome soundtrack of timeless rock and hip-hop hits. Recent MIT grad Matt Franklin (Topher Grace) should be working for a Fortune 500 company and starting his upward climb to full-fledged yuppie-hood. Instead, the directionless 23-year-old confounds family and friends by taking a part-time job behind the counter of a video store at the Sherman Oaks Galleria. But Matt's silent protest against maturity comes to a screeching halt once his unrequited high school crush, Tori Frederking (Teresa Palmer), walks into the store. When she invites him to an epic, end-of-summer party, Matt thinks he finally might have a chance with the girl of his dreams. With his cynical twin sister Wendy (Anna Faris) and best friend Barry (Dan Fogler), Matt embarks on a once-in-a-lifetime evening. From stealing a car to a marriage proposal to an indescribable, no-holds-barred dance-off, these friends share experiences that will change the course of their lives on one unforgettable night in the Go-Go 80s.

Films from the aughts.

Can you name them all? Prove you're a cinephile!

Answers behind the cut.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Strangers, Again.

+2 more of my favorite shorts behind the cut.

Sherlock Holmes 2: A Game Of Shadows

Am I the only one that prefers RDJ as Sherlock Holmes over Tony Stark? And don't get me wrong, I love me some Tony Stark. However, there's just something about that old English eccentric that makes me happy. Not to mention, the chemistry between Downey and Law is heart-achingly glorious. They're perfect for each other! Throw in a cameo by Rachel McAdams (who was sorely missed for the rest of the movie!) and Stephen Fry, plus the stunning visual effects, and you're sure to find yourself in for a treat!

Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) has always been the smartest man in the room...until now. There is a new criminal mastermind at large - Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris) - and not only is he Holmes' intellectual equal, but his capacity for evil, coupled with a complete lack of conscience, may actually give him an advantage over the renowned detective. When the Crown Prince of Austria is found dead, the evidence, as construed by Inspector Lestrade (Eddie Marsan), points to suicide. But Sherlock Holmes deduces that the prince has been the victim of murder-a murder that is only one piece of a larger and much more portentous puzzle, designed by Professor Moriarty. The cunning Moriarty is always one step ahead of Holmes as he spins a web of death and destruction-all part of a greater plan that, if he succeeds, will change the course of history.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

When East Meets West

"It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party." - High Fidelity, Nick Hornby

As a firm believer in all things said and spoken in books, I guess I've always felt the truth of these words. But what do you do when the good girl meets the bad boy?

We've all read the stories, we've seen the films, heard the music. We all know about Juliet, and her Romeo. We know how it goes for star-crossed lovers. But when there are no rivals, no warring families, no spanning years and continents, no bloodshed and plagues and disease, no outside physical force preventing your love, when only the heightened degrees of your differences is the only thing that keeps you apart, do you move relentlessly forward or do you go down swinging?

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Another Goodbye

Tomorrow, my sister and niece once again fly off to the Land of the Merlion where they join my brother-in-law, who left last Monday, and where it would take us at least a couple of more months to reunite. The holidays are truly over and a tinge of sadness hangs over the Pamandanan household. I guess goodbyes are something none of us will ever be comfortable with.

It's alright. May our goodbyes never get easy. May we have difficulty with every hug, every walk-away, and every wave. May we cry with every beso. May we never want to leave each others' side.

It stings, but it's a good sting. It reminds us that we love each other that much. It's a proclamation of how we were raised and what we were surrounded with. Another goodbye brings us closer to another hello. And even whilst I type, bile threatening to rise up my throat, tears stinging the back of my eyes, and a hiccup preventing clean breath, I'm happy that after years of knowing that, somewhere, a clock is ticking, cautioning us that our time for now is limited, we still get lost in the madness and we forgo clockwatching. We bask in the glorious company of our loved ones, and we live the lives we want to live. The lives we work to live. The lives we wish we could live everyday.

I once described having to say goodbye to these three people as opening my heart, inserting a blunt dagger, then twisting, and it still feels that way. It still feels like those words don't even begin to describe the pain I feel, the falling of my stomach, and the eventual emptiness that inevitably follows. I still can't think of words that could describe the missing. The wanting to turn to this person and just share a little bit of yourself with them.

I guess it means that there's still so much I have to learn. And while I must live this way, seas apart from being complete, I'll try my hardest to find the words.

For now, I love you guys and I already miss you would have to suffice.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Martha Marcy May Marlene

There should be a warning label on films like Martha Marcy May Marlene: Not for non-hipsters and non-film savants. I'm not sure if I just lack the intelligence and culture needed to appreciate and find the art and beauty in this film, but if it were a joke, I completely missed the punchline. Thank the good Lord for Elizabeth Olsen because her performance is the only way I could understand how and why this film has borne such rave reviews.

Martha Marcy May Marlene is a powerful psychological thriller starring Elizabeth Olsen as Martha, a young woman rapidly unraveling amidst her attempt to reclaim a normal life after fleeing from a cult and its charismatic leader (John Hawkes). Seeking help from her estranged older sister Lucy (Sarah Paulson) and brother-in-law (Hugh Dancy), Martha is unable and unwilling to reveal the truth about her disappearance. When her memories trigger a chilling paranoia that her former cult could still be pursuing her, the line between Martha's reality and delusion begins to blur.

What Matters Most...

... is how you see yourself.

Happy New Year, everyone!