Thursday, June 3, 2010

Reading Crisis Averted

I've been reading a lot again these past few days, so rather than telling you all how I laze about the house everyday, reading to my heart's content, I'll just post some quotes from aforementioned reading material that struck a chord.

Obviously, a quote dump.

And.... Go.

FIGHT CLUB, Chuck Palahniuk:
If you don't know what you want, you end up with a lot you don't.

Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head.

If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new
character... Would you slow down? Or speed up?

Remember this, the people you're trying to step on, we're everyone you depend on. We're the people who do your laundry and cook your food and serve your dinner. We make your bed. We guard you while you're asleep. We drive the ambulances. We direct your call. We are cooks and taxi drivers and we know everything about you. We process your insurance claims and credit card charges. We control every part of your life.

We are the middle children of history, raised by television to believe that someday we'll be millionaires and movie stars and rock stars, but we won't. And we're just learning this fact. So don't fuck with us.

I felt trapped. I was too complete. I was too perfect.

And a moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection.

On a long enough time line, everyone's survival rate drops to zero.

Only in death will we have our own names since only in death are we no longer part of the effort. In death we become heroes.

Evacuate soul, now.

That old saying, about how you always kill the thing you love, well, it works both ways.

CHOKE, Chuck Palahniuk:
You had to risk your life to get love. You had to go right to the edge of death to ever be saved.

Art never comes from happiness.

Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.

The truth is, every son raised by a single mom is pretty much born married.

Orgasms flood the body with endorphins that kill pain and tranquilize you.

Until you find something to fight for, you settle for something to fight against.

The truth was, if Christ had laughed on the cross, or spat on the Romans, if he'd done anything more than just suffer, the kid would've liked church a lot more.

Torture is torture and humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer.

When somebody saves you, the first thing you want to do is save other people.

There's an opposite to deja vu. They call it jamais vu.

More and more it feels like I'm doing a really bad impersonation of myself.

We've taken the world apart but we have no idea what to do with the pieces.

We use criticism as a fake participation.

Parenthood is the opiate of the masses.

Nothing is as good as you can imagine it. No one is as beautiful as she is in you head. Nothing is as exciting as your fantasy.

Everybody wants more excitement from their life than they'll ever get.

The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.

What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.

We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it's our job to invent something better.

DIARY, Chuck Palahniuk:
The weather today is increasing concern followed by full-blown dread.

By the time you read this, you'll be older than you remember.

If you're reading this, welcome back to reality. This is where all that glorious, unlimited potential of your youth has led. All the unfulfilled promise. Here's what you've done with your life.

The weather today is an increasing trend toward denial.

The bourgeois daydreams of some poor white trash kid.

You have endless ways you can commit suicide without dying dying.

A couple drinks. A couple aspirin. Repeat.

Just for the record, the weather today is partly soused with occasional bursts of despair and irritation.

What you don't understand you can make mean anything.

Everyone's in their own personal coma.

Today's weather is partly furious with occasional fits of rage.

Just for the record, the weather today is partly suspicious with chances of betrayal.

Inspiration needs disease, injury, madness.

Just for the record, today's weather is nervous disgust with tentative apprehension.

Just for the record, the weather today is bitter with occasional fits of jealous rage.

The weather today is partly angry, leading to resignation and ultimatums.

These days even the best part of any city is just a deluxe luxury suite in hell.

You people with your ex-wives and stepchildren, your blended families and failed marriages,
you've ruined your world and now you want to ruin mine.

You can find fresh pain every time you discover what you pretty much already know.

Just for the record, the weather today is increasing turmoil with a possible physical and emotional breakdown.

Just for the record, the weather today is calm and sunny, but the air is full of bullshit.

The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.

It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness.

We have no scar to show for happines. We learn so little from peace.

Just for the record, the weather today is slightly maudlin.

THE HUNGER GAMES, Suzanne Collins:
Stupid people are dangerous.

Pity does not get you aid. Admiration at your refusal to give in does.

These are the Hunger Games, and ordinary isn’t the norm.

Promising tomorrow will be more hopeful than this awful piece of time we call today.

Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.

CATCHING FIRE, Suzanne Collins:
You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know.

SOMETHING BORROWED, Emily Giffin:
I don't break up. I trade up.

Maybe I am just a bad person. Maybe the only reason I have been good up to this point has less to do with my true moral fiber and more to do with the fear of getting caught. I play by the rules because I am risk-averse. I didn't go along with the junior-high shoplifting gags at the White Hen Pantry partly because I knew it was wrong, but mostly because I was sure that I would be the one to get caught. I never cheated on an exam for the same reason. Even now I don't take office supplies from work because I figure that somehow the firm's surveillance cameras will catch me in the act. So if that is what motivates me to be good, do I really deserve credit? Am I really a good person? Or just a cowardly pessimist?

We were both driven less by the desire to succeed than by an all-pervasive fear of failure.

Nate was my escape. And sometimes that can feel an awful lot like love.

There is emotion, and then there is what you do about it.

The world is not black and white. There are no moral absolutes.

This is why you should never, ever get your hopes up. This is why you should see the glass as half empty. So when the whole thing spills, you aren't as devastated.

I had a best friend. There was such security in that, such a sense of identity and belonging.

It's just a little heartbreak. You will get over this. I think of all the hearts breaking at this moment, in Manhattan, all over the world. All of the overwhelming grief. It makes me feel less alone to think that other people are getting their insides torn to tiny bits. Husbands leaving wives after twenty years of marriage. Children crying out, "Don't leave me, Daddy! Please stay!" Surely what I feel doesn't compare to that kind of pain. It was only a summer romance, I think. Never meant to last beyond August.

What's your pleasure?

The jig is up, baby.

When you're in love, sometimes you have to swallow your pride, and sometimes you have to fight to keep your pride. It's a balance. But when the relationship is right, you find that balance.

But I have learned that you make your own happiness, that part of going for what you want means losing something else. And when the stakes are high, the losses can be that much greater.

SOMETHING BLUE, Emily Giffin:
After all, there is nothing like a mother telling you that you're making a bad decision to convince you that what you are doing is the absolute best course of action.

I'd like to say it was strength of character and good morals, but it also had a lot to do with stubborn pride.

10 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT YOU, Julia Quinn:
I can imagine no greater bliss than to lie about, reading novels all day.

You're very hard on your fellow man, Miss Winslow.

Were it not for misunderstandings, we would be sadly lacking in great literature.

What would life be without bleak moments?

That had been his moment. His very own point of division. He wondered if everyone's lives had a dividing point. A moment which sat clearly between before and after.

THE RED PYRAMID, Rick Riordan:
You shouldn't lie to children!

Fairness does not mean everyone gets the same, Fairness means everyone gets what they need. And the only way to get what you need is to make it happen yourself. Do you understand?

From sand they come, and to sand they return.

This is not school, Sadie. You cannot learn magic by sitting at a desk and taking notes. You can only learn magic by doing magic.

Maybe being homeschooled, Carter didn’t realize that “test” is normally a bad thing.

Ammit the Devourer, cute little thing.

It’s a rare thing when an adult admits they are wrong to a child.

It takes strength and courage to admit the truth.

She was beautiful the way an atomic explosion is beautiful.

Men Ask for Directions (and Other Signs of the Apocalypse)

“Sadie,” he said forlornly, “when you become a parent, you may understand this. One of my hardest jobs as a father, one of my greatest duties, was to realize that my own dreams, my own goals and wishes, are secondary to my children’s. Your mother and I have set the stage. But it is
your stage.

Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?

MARRIED BY MORNING, Lisa Kleypas:
We all have regrets. It's why I cling to my bad habits. One doesn't have to start regretting
something unless one stops doing it.

Virtue in a woman is like pepper in the soup. A little makes for a nice seasoning. But overdo it, and no one wants very much of you

There are some experiences in life they haven’t invented the right words for.

There’s nothing more tedious than people who like to talk about themselves.

Revenge is the act of a despicable and petty character. Which is no doubt why I’ve always enjoyed it so much.

You really should discard your inhibitions. They could get in the way of yielding to temptation.

One isn’t improved by being at the top of the mountain, one is improved by the climb.

"You … you are so…” She couldn’t even think of a suitable word. “I know. Woefully primitive.” Laughter threaded through his voice. “But I must be tolerated, because I’m a man and I really can’t help it.”

I’m waging war, love. And the only way to win this kind of war is to make you want to lose.

In the face of a love this vast, a man could only surrender.


END

So here's a question for you, dear reader, do you ever get that feeling, that moment of clarity, that rush of excitement, that epiphany right when you read a line so perfect you hear the wheels turning in your head making you go "Yes, that's it exactly!" and once you do... commit it to memory (or, more efficiently, write it down somewhere so that you may return to it in the future when time has weathered your brain and made you more forgetful)?

I've recently started doing that since deciding it's high time I re-read all of my books as well as read some new ones. It's therapeutic. I recommend it to all who have free time.

Happy reading,
Essa.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

MISSING DOG: FOUND!

I am constantly amazed by a human being's capacity for kindness and love.

At around 4 this afternoon, my sister received word, all the way from Batangas (which is a far 2-3 hour car drive away from Manila's busy streets) that her puppy, Rocket, has been found!

We wasted no time in packing up and leaving immediately to pick the poor baby up.

To the kind citizens who found and took care of Rocket, thank you. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

I now trust in the kindness of strangers.

MISSING DOG



My sister's baby, Rocket, has gone missing! This is reposted from her TUMBLR

Please help me find my puppy :’(

Last photo of Rocket taken hours before he went missing.

DESCRIPTION:
Pure bread brown poodle with beady black eyes and long legs. He answers to the name Rocket or Rocky. No ID plate but wearing a white (preventic) collar.

He was last seen in Pebble drive, Tali beach on May 16 2010 around 1:00pm. If you have friends who have houses there or were on vacation in the area the same weekend, please repost this and help me find him.

REWARD IF FOUND. You may reach me at gillianpamandanan@yahoo.com or 09062117794.

Thank you.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

2010 Presidential Elections


Just a rant.

I'm not here to promote my candidate-of-choice nor to lament how he didn't take the crown. No, that would be immature and pointless.

The people have spoken, the candidate with the most votes won. Congratulations. I have no problem with this - we are a democracy, after all. It is nothing personal. We all have our beliefs and to each their own.

I have no problem with the candidate himself, though we might not share the same views. Not once have I singled out a particular candidate, especially him, to slander or bad-mouth. Whatever points I may have made in the past are proven to be facts and not spoken lies spread like wildfire by naysayers.

All I ask in return is for the same kind of civility that we, the supporters of the losing candidates, have shown. Our candidates have conceded, and they have done so with such grace that we owe it to them to bow out in the same manner. Having the supporters of the winning candidate gloat and insult and personally attack us is not making this any easy. What have you to gain from this childish behavior? We've accepted the results, haven't we? Must you force us to say "we voted for the wrong candidate, we apologize"? Because that's not gonna happen. I accept the defeat but I take pride in the fact that I voted for who I believed would be the best candidate.

This is not a popularity contest. And this is DEFINITELY not a chicken fight. We didn't gamble money (though some may disagree), we gambled our future.

I hope desperately that I am wrong about the winning candidate. My being mistaken means all the better for my country. Who doesn't want that? My pride is not so high that I would rather be correct and have my country suffer.

Frazzled,
Essa.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

MAY 09, 2010



Vote wisely. Make it count.

Legally Blonde: the Musical



Who's going to watch?

Saturday, May 8, 2010

From A Daughter To Her Mother


Dearest Mom,

We've had our fair share of ups and downs... but even amidst our arguments, I can see how it kills you to see me cry or distraught. You've taught me how to handle pain, how to hold my head up high with a quiet dignity that even now I find difficult. Your strength became my strength and your courage, which has never wavered, not once, became my courage. You are, by far, the most wonderful human being on the planet and I don't know how I could ever live up to you.

The best schooling I have ever received was there at your knees. You've given me the courage to not fear difference, the strength to face adversity, and the wits to holdfast to my convictions. You've molded me, and sometimes way too much that I have become bruised, but to an extent that has softened me at the edges. I am compassionate because of you. Days and nights of humiliation and pain was never present in our household, simply because you're filled with such infectious joie de vivre that it becomes near impossible to hold on to anger. You've protected me from harm, stood up at enemy lines when I couldn't anymore, all the while reading me bedtime stories and regaling me with tales of beauty and laughter and wonder and adventure.

Your generosity of spirit has always proved to be my undoing. Seeing how you interact with people and how they respond has made me want to become a better person. Memories of how cake, always divided between 6 kids, meaning there would be none for you, fills my mind. Your proclamations of "I never liked cake, anyways" never fooled us. We knew you wanted a piece but didn't want to find one of your kids lacking in any shape or form.

Your beauty, both inside and outside, is blinding that sometimes I stop in awe... just stand there and stare and try to comprehend how so close you resemble an angel. My angel. You truly are such a magnificent piece of work.

Words can never fully express how grateful and thankful I am to have been born your daughter. It's pitiful how I'm trying and failing miserably, but you've always encouraged me to do what I know best... and this is what I know.

One day, I hope to be able to tell my own children how I've learned from the best. How wonderful and kind my own mother is. How she will always be my everest. They'll laugh, surely, at the maudlin sentiment, as I did whenever you took on a more serene mood, and I'll laugh too... but deep in my heart, I know it to be true. My mother... a mother, a sister, a daughter, a teacher, an advisor, a hero.

My mother... is beautiful. Softened at the edges and tempered with a spine of steel.

I love you, mom. I really do. I can never say it enough. I love you.

All my love,
Your daughter, Les.

**



When I was very little
My favorite game to play
Was to dress up in your pretty clothes
To be like you in every way

Were you my special guardian angel
When growing up was hard to do?
You'd kiss away my tears
Help me face my fears
I learned what courage is about
Because of you

All that I am and hope to be
All of my dreams I could always see
In your eyes ever shining through
I'm blessed 'cause I learned from you
What it means to be a woman

You were my rock and my foundation
The light that led the way
And your little girl is a woman now
Growing stronger every day

You have a special way of seeing
From a mothers point of view
All thats deep inside of me
You inspired me to see
My wildest dreams are made for coming true

Now I've found love and I'm loved in return
And so grateful to you for every lesson I've learned