Saturday, January 17, 2009

Alone again... naturally.

I wish I had more interesting things to blog about - but woe is me, I have none. Yes, this is my life, and seeing as it is my dearest wish to die an old maid - it's true, the old ball and chain is not for me - it seems my future lies somewhere in the same vicinity (though one can only hope I'd be in my own house instead of my parents', with a great job, Nana, my lhasa apso, and a lot of moolah).

Over the course of the last 2 weeks, I've over-indulged my "me-time", often this includes me and my laptop, me watching romantic-comedies/ chick-flicks/ teeny boppers of the last 2 decades, me reading historical romance/ fantasy/ chick-lit, and me binging on anything edible I can get my hands on. It's those days that I don't even want to see another human being - times when I'd like to hole up in the room, curled in a blanket, sipping hot swiss miss, eating, and getting lost in another reality entirely.

Suffice to say, my seclusion lasted for about 2 weeks, meaning a whole lot of movies, books, and eating. I've gained about a gazillion pounds with absolutely no idea on how to shed them - my lack of will power and belief in never surrendering to the hollywood standard of emaciation restrains and forbids me, respectively, from working out, going on a proper diet, and fixing my sleeping disorder, er, habits.

In the span of my self-imposed isolation, I have fallen in love over and over again with the life my darling leads do lead. Adventure and epic love stories (spanning years and continents, ruined lives and bloodshed - the whole repertoire) are a potent mix for a hopeless romantic, wanna-be writer such as myself. And hard as it is to grasp, reality is not nearly as kind, nor interesting, for that matter.

Now, I know it's kind of stupid and naive, to name a few, to learn from such unrealistic fantasies the media feeds people like myself, who unfortunately know that no such thing happens in real life but still find it in our fickle little minds to hope that we're the lucky one above all whom this might happen to, but this is exactly what has happened. I have indeed learned from such fluff and here I am blogging, just to add something to my very much neglected blog, to enumerate what they are.

1. Nice guys aren't always the rich, handsome, successful, perfect men we meet at the start of the novel/ movie. Sadly.

2. Girls usually date the idiots throughout the span of the entire movie, only to realize at the very end that whom they actually love and meant to be with are the much neglected, often aren't in the scenes but still have their names on the posters leading men.

3. The female lead always has some sort of flaw (remember ladies, Havelock Ellis said that the absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw.)

4. Here's one you probably didn't know: most female leads are (shocking, this) idiots. It's true.

5. The antagonist is almost always better-looking and smarter than the protagonist.

6. The perfect men usually don't have the balls to fight for their lady loves and only grow them at the end, almost losing the battle.

7. The characters always exaggerate the tragedies they suffer in life so that they have a legitimate reason to be angry at the world without seeming like cry babies.

8. The female lead always gets her heart broken and her dreams shattered, gets fat, moves on, gets a lot hotter, then gets the guy at the end.

9. There's always a character whom the viewers are not sure if they are the villains or simply hateful, then they redeem themselves when they do something remotely in the same country as nice for the protagonist.

10. If the male lead seems too good to be true, then he probably is.

11. The life the hero/ heroine leads is hardly gripping - almost always lacking in adventure.

12. The stories always have some elements of the ridiculous about them - but that's what makes it so fun to observe.

Now I'm sure there are loads more life lessons that I still haven't covered but for now, this is enough.

If you are like me, who needs something to make our ennui-filled lives a little more bearable, I recommend escapism. Escaping is the greatest feeling I've ever had. Followed almost abruptly by the worst feeling I've ever had.

No comments:

Post a Comment