Friday, January 30, 2009

Quo vadis?

At least once in their life, one must never forget to ask themselves the question "Quo Vadis?" (Must be said in Latin in order to sound, you know, intelligent). That is, where are you going? 4 words blessed with the power to make a person step out of their lives, even for just a moment, to be able to evaluate without bias.

So, where am I going? To find where one is going, one must start and look at it's beginning.

I have found that my life, lacking in adventure as it may be, is one I prefer over anyone else's. I've been blessed with a family that I adore and a voracious appetite for reading, watching movies, and thought. I suppose I think more than anyone really should. I am constantly wondering about this and that and such and repeatedly amazed by whatever thing's ability to go on -- to go on existing and to go alter and define lives simply by being. It is also probably due to my rapacious curiosity that I read much more than anyone else. I've learned that there will always be questions - and when there is a question, there is an answer. The most accessible medium to finding answers is, of course, books. Books have an amazing ability to captivate it's reader - creating another reality entirely through beautifully strewn words.

Growing up, I've tried very hard to mix my reality together with my imagination. I've convinced myself that if I wanted something bad enough, wished for it hard enough, been good enough, that it'll come true. A few months before my eleventh birthday a couple of years back, I wished on every 11:11, every 3 blue cars in a row, every first star of the night, every shooting star or falling meteor, that an owl would deliver that one special post. That I would receive an invitation to Hogwarts. I desperately wanted to become a witch that it hurt in places I didn't know I had inside me when I didn't get that letter. A couple of years after that, I got obsessed with the Gossip Girl books. I thought that if I emulated coolness and epitomized popularity, that if I rebelled beyond anyone's imagination, that one day I'd receive that text. That text that proclaimed me the "Queen". The untouchable. The god-like. The elite. What I got instead was a mob of haters wanting nothing more than to dethrone me from my self-imposed monarchy. I became a supercilious nobody with nothing to show for but my excessive behavior. In between those years, I longed for even more adventures. Adventures I believed were meant for me. Brilliant, I thought. I was going to be brilliant.

Life gave me a rude awakening. A wake-up call. It told me that good things didn't just happen to those who wait. It taught me that good things happened to those who wanted something so bad, they couldn't sit still. Right now, to this very day, I am still convinced that somewhere out there, in this borderless world, I am destined for greater things. It doesn't matter how many lives I touch, if any at all, all that matters is that in myself, I know I've done what I could. What I wanted. There are adventures out there... adventures just waiting to be discovered.

So where am I going? I'm going to take over the world. I'm going to travel. To fall in love with places, and books, and cultures, and people. I'm going to laugh and write. I'm going to run and run even farther. I'm going to be a legend.

As Barney Stinson would put it... I am awesome.


  1. You are awesome. and by the way, being liked is overrated.

  2. lmao, I knew I could count on you to back me up, reader. lol.