Some of fashion powerhouse Karel Lagerfeld's Greatest and Most Ridiculous Quotes:
"My sisters were sent away because my mother thought they were boring. I was not boring."
"I was never a feminist because I was never ugly enough for that."
"I am a sort of vampire, taking the blood of other people."
"I have no human feelings."
"In the whole world, there is nowhere I can go. In Japan, they touch me. I have Japanese women pinch my ass, so now I must say, 'You can have the photo, but please don't touch me.' You cannot pinch the ass of a man my age!"
"My work is concerned with a more poetic version of reality. I am no urologist." [In response to being asked why he never photographs his models completely nude]
"I'm not interested in history! That's very childish. That's Gay Pride."
"I am basically the most superficial person in the world."
ON OTHER FASHION FIGURES:
"It’s a wonderful thing I’ve created with you, but now you’re a $5,000-tote-bag-wearing monster, and for that, I am sorry. Now sit down and be quiet! [To Kimora Lee]"
"Prints are for middle-aged women with weight problems." [On Balenciaga]
"My business plan has always been about working more than others to prove their uselessness."
"I don't know Heidi Klum. Claudia Schiffer also doesn't know who she is."
"Pissing everywhere isn't very Chanel."
"The body has to be impeccable. If it's not, buy small sizes and eat less food."
"Narrow rib cages are the chicest thing."
"Yes, some people say to me you're too skinny, but never a skinny person says that to me, only people who could lose a few pounds say that."
ON LIFESTYLES AND HAPPINESS:
"The worst thing is when friends say, ‘Remember the good old days?’ Forget about the good old days! That just makes your present secondhand. What is interesting is now. If you think it was better before, then you might as well commit suicide immediately."
"If you throw money out of the window, throw it out with joy. Don't say 'one shouldn't do that' - that is bourgeois."
"The iPod is genius. I have 300."
You have to give props to Uncle Karl. He practices what he preaches.