Madonna-Whore

If there's one thing that boggles me about the male species, it is their utter inability to correct something they know is a mistake. Yes, in theory, they know they're in the wrong. So how come they don't do anything about it?

On the other side of the spectrum, girls are always lamenting the problems they encounter with the opposite sex. Yet, at the same time, no one is really taking action. Even worse, girls don't really hear what's happening.

I genuinely can't tell you just how much conversations between both my heterosexual male and female friends revolved around this topic. The men whine about dating the "wrong" girls and the "right" women complain about never getting asked out. So, to put all there is to rest, I've decided to just explain, for the last time, the true root of this problem.

Is everyone here familiar with the Madonna-Whore Complex? To summarize, this theory/ study/ disease/ complex (or whatever the hell you want to call it) focuses on the 2 female archetypes. The Saint and the Sinner. The Jackie Os and the Marilyns. The Wife and The Mistress. The one you introduce to your parents and the one you keep locked up in the bedroom. The Mother and The Whore. If you're familiar with any of the examples I stated, and for shame if not, then you probably would have guessed the difference.

The Saint, the Jackie O, the Wife, and the one you introduce to your parents is the girl you want to marry. She is just like mom. She is beautiful, she is smart, she is to be respected and honored. You don't see her as a sexual figure because how can you smear, for lack of a better word, her in that way? She is your equal in everything and that is... well, it's just not sexy.

On the other hand, we have the sinner, the Marilyn, the Sexual Slave who stays only in the bedroom. She's the whore. She's taken control of her voracious sexual appetite and she flaunts her assets for all they're worth. The number of partners she's had on her bed can rival any man's and she's proud of her exploits. This is the girl you sleep with without bothering to call her the next day. You do the naughtiest, kinkiest, most debauched things to her because you don't respect her. She is tainted. She's branded by a scarlet letter.

Now, you'd be surprised at the number of guys suffering under this delusion. You won't believe just how much men still categorize women into these 2 different stereotypes. Truth be told, men still see women as one-dimensional. In their heads, Jackie O and Marilyn can't exist simultaneously without cancelling each other out.

Here's the thing men, you SHOULD be sexually attracted to smart, capable women. Why the hell wouldn't you be? It's insane how men immediately lose respect for a woman they've just banged. They become tarnished in the eyes of the male specie even if they were the ones responsible for the tarnishing in the first place. The fact of the matter is, men still have this humongous need to pee on things (metaphorically speaking, HOPEFULLY.) Those with a Y Chromosome get such hard-ons on putting their names on things. If another guy has been there before, then it's dirty and I don't want it. Please! A surprising number of men still gravitate towards chaste women because they've never been touched. To them, it's like being the first man to land on the moon.

This could be rooted to men and commitments and their need to compartmentalize everything. Ladies I can hump. Ladies I shouldn't hump. Ladies I want to hump but I'll feel like a pig because she's so pure and innocent and clean. Please.

So, to bring us full circle to the discussion my friends and I were having, here's the deal: Men, you're still a little bit sexist. It's the truth. Maybe you weren't aware of it before, but now you are. So go out there and find a smart, respectable lady whom you'll have a high opinion of and, at the same time, want to screw in every way possible.

And ladies, don't be afraid to get called names. You do it to each other all the time. Everything is a personal choice. If, like me, you really can't stomach asking a guy you like out, then hallelujah. But if you really don't have any qualms or problems with it, then go out there and ask him out on a date. More power to you.

So, my friends, I hope I've put this little matter to rest.

Happy dating,

Essa.