Tucker Max

I've been hanging out with my guy friends a lot these past few weeks and I've heard them drone on and on ad nauseum about the brilliance of Mr. Tucker Max. I normally wouldn't give anything the guys say much thought as it is composed of your usual discussion of computer games and lengthy recounting of exploits with women of ill repute. However, when my guy friends recommend a writer to me and make me feel like an irresponsible reader, I'll take pause and do some research.

Tucker Max exploded to internet fame back in 2002 when he started an online blog about his various sexual escapades. His candor and inability to censor names from his various entries have captured the interest of so many of today's young professionals and youth that what began as a bet has now turned into a world-wide phenomenon. He was immediately offered a book deal (I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell) which subsequently got turned into a movie. His second book, Assholes Finish First, was released 2010.

With my interest piqued, I searched for his infamous blog and familiarized myself with the tone of Tucker's writing. His work is amusing, very often hilarious, and entertaining in a smarmy bastard sort of way. He revels in his douchebaggery and basks in his asshattery that one can not help but tip their hats to his self-praising and self-congratulatory tone. Surely, that amount of confidence took years to cultivate. His lack of concern for others inspires laughter and you immediately feel as if he is entrusting you with friendship. Reading Tucker's words feels too much like sitting at a bar with a friend, listening to him brag about the amount of sex he's been having.

However, almost immediately after reading each story, I felt the need to go up to "my friend" Tucker and give him a hard beating. Sure, while ensconced in the safety of his words, I laughed. But when you stop to think that this sick sod actually DID this to someone out there, it just isn't as funny. One can argue that these people had it coming. Anyone who treats his work like a bible, looks up to him, and/ or wishes to emulate him should have seen him screwing them over as far as 50 miles away. Really? No one with self-respect would actually take the crap Tucker says seriously.

His wit and ability to paint stories aside, Tucker Max is one of the biggest misogynists, chauvinists, and sexists ever known to mankind. His blatant disrespect and objectification of women is offensive to the extreme and while he is, indeed, funny, he is also scum of the earth. Ladies, sleeping with Tucker will not elevate you to God-like status in the eyes of the universe. It will only up the possibilities of you getting STDs.

So in conclusion, it is okay to enjoy Mr. Max's work in an ironic shake-your-head-while-laughing-at-his-stupidity-while-saying-"Oh, Tucker" sort of way. Any other way would be adding to the fast-increasing idiocy that has befallen our world.