Monday, July 18, 2011

My Relationship Resume

Totally ripped this idea from THOUGHT CATALOG.

***

Alessandra Martinez Pamandanan
alessa_**@yahoo.com
#12 Grimmauld Place
0916*******


MISSION
To secure a position in a heterosexual relationship where my interests, traits, and personality will amalgamate with another person's interests, traits, and personality thereby providing both parties involved with a habitable, suitable, and satisfying partnership. Following that, I plan to enter an alliance wherein I can fully and extensively exercise my preference of complete (sometimes brutal) honesty and my genuine thirst to make the opposite party happy.

CORE COMPETENCIES
Humorous, at times • Well-read • Open-minded • Interested in the Arts • Loyal • Educated • Rational • Sane • Logical • Sweet, but not overtly so • Hard-working • Has a wide range of taste when it comes to films and music • Sociable • Honest • Relatively Healthy • Will try my hardest to get along with your family/ friends (except if they're complete idiots, then I don't see why I, nor you for that matter, should even bother) • Polite • Generous • Self-Aware • Socially Aware • Not unattrative • Not Insecure (meaning I'm not a paranoid psycho who will nag at you and get jealous of every other girl in your life)

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE


NICE GUY WHO MOVED AWAY TO ANOTHER CONTINENT THEREBY LEAVING ME ALONE BOTH LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY, 2006-2007
(part-time)
CEO

• First time to ever date anyone where effort was put in, though it was on and off and very highschool-y.
• Discovered that I do not possess one jealous bone in my body. (Meaning said partner dated around while I obliviously continued thinking we were dating exclusively)
• Found I have a propensity to keep my relationships to myself. (Meaning I don't really talk to my friends/ family about obstacles and roadblocks found in a relationship I want to take seriously.)
• Slowly tried to help said partner in this adjustment phase of his life.
• Effectively communicated with partner (except for that tiny blip where I thought we were exclusively dating) and talked him through many conversations regarding the future, his family, and his friends.
• Found that while I appreciate the romance in looking at the stars while swinging on swings, I'm not really the type to wax lyrical about them.

GOOD GUY WHO PUT UP WITH SOME OF MY QUIRKS BEFORE CALLING IT QUITS, 2007-2008
(full-time)
CEO

• Learned that relationships take work (and not just effort).
• Devoted and threw self completely in said other person's life.
• Became a raging alcoholic as Good Guy enjoyed a bottle (or two, or three, or four...) of alcoholic beverage.
• Took care of said partner when he got too drunk to care about his well-being.
• Had innocent weekly sleep-overs at his house.
• Met his entire family and got to know them pretty well.
• Discovered what it means to be spoiled.
• Talked partner through an identity crisis, as well as soothed his fears of the future and what it might hold for him, never considering what it held for us.
• Realized that am not ready for an adult relationship so when he finally tried to make a move and was met by a rejection, found out what it was like to have a person completely vanish from your life.
• Went through an identity and existential crises myself in the 2 week suspension given to me before work resumed.
• Quietly parted ways shortly after 2 week suspension due to irreconcilable differences.

Please do not hesitate to inquire about my freelancing experience from 2008 onwards.

EDUCATION

Bachelor of Arts, Films and Novels, Since I was born, University of Life, EARTH.

SKILLS & INTERESTS

• The internet, (jazz, alternative, indie, showtunes) music, (old, classics, comedy, drama, period piece, adaptations) films, coffee, cigarettes, (classic, historical romance, bildungsroman, thriller, fantasy, contemporary romance, historical, fiction, drama) novels, literature, Christmas, Halloween, comfort food, pastries, desserts, friends, family, parks, vacations, outings.
• Enjoys writing and performing.
• Proficient in logical and rational thinking, as well as debates and discussions.

REFERENCES


Available upon request.

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