Over the course of the last 2 decades, in the time of the baggy pants of the 90's and crazy internet mania of the early aughts, the standards of dating somehow changed. It shifted from Disney's Castles and Princes, to Sex & the City's casual affairs and one night stands. As 2011 looms to an end, the gap between the 2 furthers as we move towards the confusing thread of self-love and scorn for others.
These days, we no longer have A Walk to Remember; we've instead welcomed Walks of Shame and our Gone With The Wind is something we take literally. Our ambition drove us to new heights and we've decided on molding ourselves to people we think were deserving of love, not worthy of it. I work so I can be successful. I want to be successful because I want to be desired. I want to be desired because I am lonely. My loneliness is a disease that eats me from the inside and thaws my bones, my muscles, my organs.
Our workaholicism and drive has frozen our hearts, and melted our bodies. We burn-out because the fire we fan exceeds our control. We forget that as human beings, we are wired to make mistakes and to live with, and in spite of, our imperfections. When did excessive love for self merge with disdain for others? In order to practice the former, must I also adhere to the latter? Must my person be so chilling that the ice inside my soul becomes the ideal temperature for beer? Ice-cold to the core.
Or do I regress and practice apathy instead? Is it a damned if I am, damned if I'm not situation so I should stop caring altogether?
I've never been very big on relationships, but I've always thought that this was because the option was always there. However, being the one last true romantic of the age, in a generation filled with mind games and casual dating, is not something to boast of. Who in their right mind would commit themselves to people who are so aggressively anti monogamy? The smart thing to do is to fight tooth and nail for your freedom. So, yes. I think I'll stick to work and pragmatism. If this is love in the time of workaholicism and apathy, give me no love. I want nothing to do with it.
And on that note, I need to haul my ass to work.