A few words to keep in mind from my beautiful, wonderful, and intelligent friend.
Changing
By Ton Rivera
Sept. 06, 2012
In the face of this new adversity I am facing, everything else seems trivial. I feel like I've suddenly aged ten years. So, self, please remember:
Don't dwell too long on the people you want in your life who may not feel the same way. There may be other people who need you in theirs and you need to focus on them. Don't be bitter or hold grudges. Eventually, you have to stop feeling guilty, second-guessing yourself on whether you inadvertently offended people that caused them to turn away. Apologize sincerely then let it simmer. You have no control over their reactions or feelings. They may be onto "more important" things at the moment. Attend to those who care, and are always there to help or listen to you. Thank your lucky stars, thank God, for these people. Most importantly, try to always be kind. Bite your tongue whenever you feel unpleasant words forming themselves in your mouth. Stop yourself from talking whenever you are angry. Stop talking back. it's always more difficult to not fight back, it builds character. Cry when you have to. Be kind to yourself as well. Everyone makes mistakes, and be humble enough to acknowledge yours. Try to learn from them. Try to get better. Work, engage and invest your efforts well. Remember your motivations, remember the reasons you wanted this: family, helping others, God. Pray a lot. Remember that your salvation isn't entirely up to you. Remember your weaknesses, but also remember your strengths. Remember the past: remember how you got through the most difficult of situations, with hardly enough money, or with an incomplete family. Remember your victories, because they are a testament to your will. Remember that in the face of the storm that is your life right now, your only advantage is you have the ability to maintain that certain calmness. Think things through, and you will find a way. You are not stupid, at the very least. Remember that things do get better. Remember that this is just one more phase to go through. You will survive. Your heart may be tired but it is not weak. It may be weary but it will carry you through. You will get through.