Lost

Time check: 4:00am

I don't think I'll ever get over my sister, niece, and brother in law leaving.

 Even now, as I look around the room, I can smell traces of them in the air. It is gut wrenching. I'm thankful they left at such an ungodly hour. In a way, everyone is still groggy from sleep and can't really process this much heartache. Still, the parting was painful. It was shorter than usual, but the downpour and onslaught of tears was overwhelming. It is difficult to breathe with the pain weighing my heart down.

 Mom is showing strength, but she can't rest so she's playing with Mochi. I know she feels the loss. Everyone does. I do.

 Dad is awake and looking for conversation. He misses the noise. Kuya Jap woke to an empty house. He is lonely.

 I can't sleep now. I can't go on as usual, not with traces of them still littered around the house. Toiletries left behind, candies untouched, paperbags strewn all over chairs. I can't rest. So I'll clean.

Made With Honor

As a younger sister, it's difficult to give advice to your older siblings. When you have an ate or kuya, you almost always expect them to just know more, in general, than you do. They've been through more, seen through worst, have lived longer. Their wisdom and knowledge is guaranteed. You expect them to have all of the answers.

So when my older sister asked me to be her maid of honor,I had one thought in my mind: How do I deliver a beautiful and honest speech? The end result was a speech far from the original draft I had wrote. It took months of revising and editing. Still, I thought that the speech I came up with perfectly captured the relationship I had with my siblings.

For everyone who is curious, this was the mandatory Maid Of Honor speech I delivered during my sister's wedding.

BBQ at The Hamptons: A Bridal Shower Part 1

All photos by Shutterhound.

Pray For My Soul

Let the bridges I burn light the path of my life.

Remove in me any chance of retreat. Deny my soul the temptation to go back.

May the bridges I burn light the way.

Give me the strength to resist the allure of safety. Allow me the courage to holdfast my convictions.

Dear Lord, I can hold on for awhile... but please don't let this be forever.

Beginnings

As 2012 draws to a close, I share with you some of my favorite beginnings...

THE GRAVEYARD BOOK (2008), by Neil Gaiman

"There was a hand in the darkness, and it held a knife."

HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER'S STONE (1998), J.K. Rowling

"Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much."

NEUROMANCER (1984), William Gibson

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel."

A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES (1980), John Kennedy Toole

"A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head."

GRAVITY'S RAINBOW (1973), Thomas Pynchon

"A screaming comes across the sky."

FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS (1971), Hunter S. Thompson

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold."

THE BELL JAR (1963), Sylvia Plath

"It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn't know what I was doing in New York."

FAHRENHEIT 451 (1953), Ray Bradbury

"It was a pleasure to burn."

THE CATCHER IN THE RYE (1951), J.D. Salinger

"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth."

ANNA KARENINA (1877), Leo Tolstoy

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

A TALE OF TWO CITIES (1859), Charles Dickens

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair."

MOBY-DICK (1851), Herman Melville

"Call me Ishmael."

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (1813), Jane Austen

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

Where Have I Been?

Where have I been? I’ve been busy trying to earn money for a living, planning my sister’s Bridal Shower, and running errands for her wedding. I’ve also been budgeting for all the expenses, making the decorations and props, and up worrying about everything. Oh, and I took up knitting.

Look at this handsome boy! Meet Angus, my sister’s 4 yr. old Beagle and the first model for Potter Puppies, a collection of scarves I am knitting for all the dogs in the fam (we have four).

The knitting has been therapeutic and good for my mental health, especially after all the strain it has been under. After weeks of not being satisfied with the work, just as I was nearly done, I unraveled it. I just couldn’t give Gus an ugly scarf. So knit I did once more and I am very happy with the final product! How posh and English, this one looks! So poised and preppy!

If any of you know me personally, you know that I’m a leftie. Scour the internet I did for tips and tutorials for beginners… and success! It looks like I finally got the garter stitch (and bi-color!) down pat.

250 Films in 2 1/2 Minutes

Successfully named a little over 200. I have no life.