Scams

There's nothing more irritating and disappointing than someone who is willing to use the term "friendship" as a means of getting one over the other. Just a few moments ago, I received a message from an old "friend", whom I have not spoken to in years nor have I ever been close to, asking my help for a problem. As I would like to be helped in my time of need, I accommodated her and asked what her plight was and what I could do to help.

While she was informing me of her "unjust luck", I started to get an inkling of what was going on. Even if the story she pulled out of her arsenal was absurd, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and listened. No sooner did she finish her tale did she let it be known that I was the only one she could turn to at this moment. Refusing to believe what she was asking of me, I had her spell out what she needed. She was asking for money. And not just your run of the mill cash loan, she was asking for a lot of money.

After giving her my deepest sympathies and trying to console her, I told her that I couldn't lend her the cash. 1.) I really didn't have that much dough to spare and 2.) I honestly didn't believe her story. I apologized for not being any help and told her that I hoped for the best for her and her family. What surprised me more from our unusual exchange and her strange request was how she reacted. She told me to keep my hope, as I was theirs, because I could but just didn't want to help out. At this point, I was getting annoyed. She was the one in distress and not I, how was this my problem? Still, I talked and tried to explain to her why it was that I couldn't help her. I could use some good karma, anyways. Even after I told her my side, all I received from her was a "Forget it." followed by her logging out.

Un-freakin'-believable. Let's get real, I'm not a very trusting person. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I believe everyone has an ulterior motive. Granted. But even knowing that, I put aside my usual ways and heard her out. Her story was absurd, inconsistent and had a lot of plot holes in them. Still, instead of calling her out on it, I just pretended to believe her and tried to put her down as gently as I could. What does she reward me with? Bitterness and anger. A retort like that won't fly with me, Missy. I know you were trying to con me for some dough. Do you honestly think I'm that much of an idiot?

Written below is our exchange. I removed your name because I still believe in censorship. Don't bother me again or I'll let it out in public.

FRIEND: Hello
How are you doing?

ESSA: Hiiiii
good (:
you?

FRIEND: Am not good at the moment........I and my family are in some deep mess right now

ESSA: I'm sorry to hear that
what's wrong?

FRIEND: We're stranded in London,united kingdom
got mugged at gun point last night

ESSA: oh wow :|
that's terrible

FRIEND: it sucks and scary
I was hit on the head but i am getting better

ESSA: Oh, man. Some people are just such douches. Karma will get the better of them. Did you tell the police?

FRIEND: We are freaked out here,have been to the embassy and the police they are not helping issues at all i was ask to come back in three weeks time....

ESSA: oh man
that sucks

FRIEND: It was a Brutal Experience but Thank GOD i still got my life and passport saved

ESSA: exactly. Thank God no one was seriously harmed.

FRIEND: Our return flight leaves in few hours to this time and we are having a problem in sorting the hotel bill and get a cab down to the airport...I need your help

ESSA: what can I do?

FRIEND: I need you to loan me some few CASH i promise to refund it back to you as soon as we get back home....

ESSA: how will I though? I'm halfway across the world
and I really don't have enough for that. :|

FRIEND: I think you can have it wired to my name via western union
All you need is my name and current location

ESSA: banks are closed. It's 1am here.
1:51, actually.

FRIEND: You can have it done online are you with your credit card
??

ESSA: No, I need my parents permission for that.

FRIEND: How soon will you have it done
??

ESSA: I really don't know if I can, because my parents need to know and I doubt they'll allow me to send a lot of cash. I'm really sorry.

FRIEND: How much can you spare me right now
??

ESSA: I really can't. I'm so sorry. Problems with money are everywhere.

FRIEND: Am so embarrassed that you can't help my plight

ESSA: I am to
I would if I could
I'm really sorry

FRIEND: Ok
Just forget it

ESSA: Hoping for the best for you and your family

FRIEND: Not hope you are our hope hope but you insist not helping us...May god judge it

ESSA: That's just being mean. I would if I could. I'm sorry that I can't loan you money that I don't have.

FRIEND: Just forhet it ok

**

Darling, only an idiot will believe that story and only an idiot would have sent you cash. You're half-way across the world with your parents and they're fine with you asking a friend to loan you that much cash? You. must. be. joking. And that's just the first plot hole there. Don't get me started on the others. If you bother me and try to scam me for cash in the future, I will go to the authorities.

Goodluck getting your ass out of whatever problem you've gotten yourself into,
Essa.

[EDIT] Said "friend" has since removed her profile from facebook.